


a whole new world

by leia (shittyspacedads)



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Social Media, Domestic Avengers, Field Trip, Fluff, Ignores Infinity War and Endgame, NOT STARKER - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Tony Stark, Social Media, Tony Stark Has A Heart, YouTube, don't even try that shit with me, peter parker says fuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2019-08-04 16:49:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16350437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shittyspacedads/pseuds/leia
Summary: Peter was a youtuber before getting his powers, and still is.Most things are the same, except Peter is a youtuber. Which for all we know, he is.**Chapters 1-8 underwent Major editing as of May 2nd please reread them if you read them before that date**





	1. This is a story, all about how

“So today, I started high school!” Peter pauses for a moment, looks back into the lens of the camera, and continues to speak, “It was weird, a good weird though! I’m going to this fancy STEM school.” He laughs, and runs a hand through his hair, “I know, I know, I don’t really seem like the kind of person to be somewhere like that from all the embarrassing things I tell you all. But anyway, the school is so big! And yes, I have already made a fool of myself at least twice.”

He tells the camera about the rest of his day, and finishes up with just under 20 minutes of footage captured. Grabbing his laptop off of the desk next to him, he moves the recording to his flash drive, making a mental note to edit it by the end of the day. It doesn't have to be finished quickly, he usually posts on Fridays and it’s only Wednesday, but his teachers told him to expect homework starting tomorrow and he doesn’t want his channel to become less of a priority.

Peter’s been making videos for years now, just about since he was old enough for Aunt May to trust him on the internet by himself. Though, he had only started to take regular posting seriously over this past summer. Nobody had told him, but the summer between middle school and high school was extremely boring.

Sure, he had summer projects he was assigned, but there was plenty of time for those. He felt too young to be doing things high schoolers would do during the summer, hold jobs or go on vacations, but too old to do what he had done the previous summers, go on day trips or spend the entire day inside building Legos, and it was so boring.

That was until he and Ned had finally made a video that had gotten some kind of traction. It was only a few hundred views, but it was more than Peter had gotten on all of his previous videos combined. (That’s if you don’t count a video Peter posted a few years back of the Avengers, and he doesn’t. Those videos gain thousands of views no matter what.) After a lot of urging from Ned, Peter had decided to satisfy the few new subscribers he had gained, and try to make something of his channel.

So here he was, talking to the camera. Something that, in the beginning, had filled him with anxiety and dread, grew to become his favorite part of the day. During the summer he was posting a couple days a week, even every day if he could come up with enough content, but with the school year starting, he would only be able to post once a week. He had gained a fair number of subscribers (he was due to hit 500 before the end of the year) and was nervous that he would be letting them down by announcing his new schedule, starting this week.

After editing and posting the video a few days later though, that worry was completely gone. He had a couple of regular viewers, and almost all of them had commented saying that, with school starting, they would have limited time to watch videos, so it worked out perfect! He just hoped that some of them would stick to what they said, and keep watching his videos despite him posting less.

  


“So today, I’ve got a great story for you all!” Peter bounced in his chair a little, “You’ll never believe this! Well, you’ll believe it because I’m posting about it and I’ve never really lied on here but I can barely believe it and-” He takes an audible deep breath, “I’m rambling, get to the point Peter. I saw Tony Stark today! Well, Iron Man,” he makes a dismissive gesture with his hand, “same thing really. Although if you ask me, the scientific advancements Tony Stark’s made classify him on a level way higher than Iron Man, but I know not everyone agrees with me so I’ll move on.”

To Peter, from a scientific standpoint, the work Tony Stark had done was much more significant than anything he had done as Iron Man. Sure, Peter didn’t agree with the weapon stuff the man had been involved in, but all of that had pretty much stopped when Iron Man came along, as far as he was aware.

“Anyway, my aunt and I were out celebrating her birthday.” He pauses for another moment, carefully choosing his next words, “I don’t like to talk about the fact that I make money from doing this thing, because it just feels weird, but I’ve made a little and it was enough to treat her to a really nice dinner downtown. Like I had to wear a suit and everything, it was really cool.”

Peter really didn’t like talking about the fact that he made money from his videos. Yes, everyone knew that people with his platform did, but it wasn’t something anybody talked about. Before the spider bite, May let him keep half of what he earned as spending money and put the other half in a savings account for him. Peter would rather her use the other half for bills, since Ben died May had a lot of trouble with them, but she insisted that they were fine without it.

After the bite though, all of his spending money went into extra lunches and secret second breakfasts on his way to school to keep up with his super-charged metabolism. Frankly, it was annoying, but it was what he had to do to keep May from finding out. He did manage to stash enough of it over a few months to treat her to dinner that night though.

Peter tries to pick up the pace, taking a glance at the amount of time he’s already been filming and dreading having to cut out his multiple pensive pauses, “but we were there, and suddenly we could hear some sort of explosion across the street. Naturally, everyone freaks out, and in comes Iron Man! Well not in, he didn’t come in the restaurant, but he was outside! It ended up not being that big of a deal and everybody was okay, but it was so cool!”

He takes a minute to suck down half a bottle of water before continuing, “I know I’ve talked about how when I was little I went to that Stark Expo that was attacked and Iron Man saved me and, that was certainly the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me, and the only way this could have topped that was if I got to actually interact with him. The Avengers do so much to help people, and literally my only goal in life is to try to help even a fraction of the amount of people they have helped and maybe bring joy to some people.” He laughs and rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt. As soon as they had gotten home he had pulled out his camera, wanting to get every detail right and not even bothering to change his clothes before doing so.

What he said was true though, that’s the most he could ask for out of his life, to be able to help people. He’s been told before that these silly videos he makes have helped some people, but it’s just such a weird concept and hard to believe that he finds himself screenshotting every message telling him that to read when he’s feeling like he’s going nowhere.

Logically, he knows he’s not going nowhere. Only a few months into posting regularly and he’s really close to hitting 10,000 subscribers, a feat he never thought he’d reach.

If you had told little 13 year old Peter, who spent most of his summer before high school sitting in front of a camera talking to nobody, that almost 10,000 people had clicked the button saying they enjoyed what he was doing, he wouldn’t have believed it.

  


The day he hits 100,000 subscribers, him and Ned spend hours refreshing his page. Aunt May even bakes a cake. They don’t dare touch it, thinking it would be bad luck to have it before he actually hit the number, even if it was tempting. He hits it, they celebrate with cake, and Peter swears he doesn't cry.

He does later though, filming his first video after hitting that milestone. He tries not to focus on numbers, he thinks everyone gets caught up in them too much, but he can’t not make some sort of “thank you” video.

It’s full of happy tears through his protests of, “I swear I’m not crying, I’m just overwhelmed,” and he even reacts to a few of his first videos, cringing all the way through. When he first started, his videos were nonsense skits him and Ned had come up with, or videos that had no point. There are ones like when he caught footage of an Avengers fight, and one of Aunt May teasing him while dancing around the kitchen.

As much as he loves those old videos, he tries to take his content more seriously now. He puts thought and planning into every video, rarely breaking the ‘storytime’ format. His viewers loved to call him the “father of storytimes”. While he didn’t reject the concept, he was one of the first channels to focus on it and cultivate the ‘genre’ so to speak, it felt like they were giving him too much credit.

Since getting his powers and becoming Spider-Man though, it was getting increasingly harder to stick to his niche. All of the good stories he could tell now happened while he was out there as his secret identity. Sure, some of them could be tweaked a little as to not give him away, but he didn’t like making those often. They made him feel like he was lying.

He did his best, but when Tony Stark came into his life and threw him into a whole new world, everything changed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love how I wrote this instead of streaming like I was supposed to tonight, whoops!
> 
> *edited as of May 2nd*


	2. Peter, no.

Peter hated the thought of taking advantage of his relationship with Tony for views, but this idea was just too funny to pass on.

  


He had been mulling his plan around in his head for months now. The morning after Tony answered his 3am panicked call cause by a nightmare, he knew what he had to do.

Peter had made some sort of self-deprecating joke, and the way Tony had sighed and said, “Peter, _no_ ” was the _funniest_ thing he had heard in his 16 years on this bitch of an earth.

It wasn’t funny at the time, it made his heart sink thinking Tony was disappointed in him, but thinking about it the next morning made him laugh so hard there were tears coming out of his eyes.

The only flaw in his plan though, was that he’d managed to avoid talking about his mentor on his channel.

  


Phase one of Peter’s plan: persuade Tony to let him talk about his “internship” on his channel.

Tony had found out about his channel by accident, and if it was up to Peter he never would have known. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed by the videos he made (he absolutely loved them) it was just an awkward thing to talk about. He couldn’t just tell Tony, “I’m sorry, I can’t work on the tech you gave me, expecting nothing in return, because I need to talk to a camera before 5pm to have my video ready by the morning.”

In the grand scheme of things, it just looked like some dumb hobby he still kept at from when he was a kid. Surprisingly enough, Tony didn’t treat it that way as soon as Peter explained how important it was to him. He just got this far-off look in his eye and said something about it being good that Peter has “a hobby outside of superhero-ing”, before asking Peter to explain more about how the platform worked.

He still posted his videos on Friday’s, but now those days were also when he would head to the tower or the compound to start his work for the weekend. With Aunt May working so many night shifts, and Peter’s developing anxiety issues, it seemed fit for him to just stay there on the weekends. It meant he never had to film there, but Tony always seemed to be absent around the time his videos were scheduled to be posted. Peter always thought it was coincidental, until his video went up at a different time than normal.

He had forgotten to actually make it scheduled, the video just sitting in his dashboard on private. It took him no more than an hour to realize his mistake and manually post it, apologizing to the few viewers tweeting him. Peter heard Tony’s phone ding the instant he had posted it, and soon after the older man was making some excuse to leave the room.

“Hey Friday?” Peter curiously asked the AI, looking at the ceiling as he did so, a habit Tony loved to tease him for. “What’s Mr. Stark doing?”

“He’s watching your video, Peter.” Friday seemed to have some sort of tone to her voice that Peter couldn’t quite place.

When he had first been introduced to the AI, he was shocked to find the amount of tone and emotion it could put into its voice. It shouldn’t have, knowing how _motherly_ his AI, Karen, could sound sometimes, but it did.

Once the initial shock of knowing Tony actually watched his videos wore off, he asked, “How did he know I posted?”

“He has me alert him when you do.” She pauses for a moment, almost in thought, “Since you were present at the moment, I figured it was best to alert him through his phone.”

With this information, Peter knew his plan would work.

  


It all started with a Q&A. Peter had been meaning to make one for a while, but this opportunity would be perfect for planting the seeds in Mr. Stark’s mind that he needed to pull this off.

“So today, I’m doing something you all have asked for, a Q&A!” Peter’s filming in a different spot in his bedroom than he usually would, and something about this location feels more personal.

Instead of facing his window, to get the best lighting, he’s facing the wall to the side. It was a pain to set up (he had to borrow a lamp from Aunt May so the sun coming from the side didn’t throw his recalculated white balance off too much) but it was just the view he needed for this kind of thing. In the background of the shot was his desk, surrounded by posters and other various mementos. The collection varied from cheesy posters he had bought at book fairs over the years, to drawings from when he was younger. He, of course, took down the Spider-Man related blueprints, but left up a small photo he and Tony had taken together at a conference a few months back. All of his videos were personal, but this one seemed more so, and he felt it needed an appropriate backdrop.

“I’ve collected these mostly from twitter, but Ned and MJ have thrown a few in for kicks.” He laughs softly to himself, his best friends had a _field day_ coming up with ridiculous questions for him to answer. Only a select few had made the cut, most of them being too weird or obscene for him to include. After a lot of back and forth, he let a few of their funny ones slip through.

“First one, how old are you? Easy, I’m sixteen.” Peter answered a few more simple questions, throwing in the joke ones his friends had sent him every now and then to keep the video interesting.

“All right, here’s the last one I think. They've asked ‘Are you in any extracurriculars, or is your channel the only thing you do outside of school?’” He puts a hand on his chest, a fake look of shock on his face. “Wow, I’m hurt you think I could be that boring! Anyway, I’m on my school’s academic decathlon team, and I’ve got these after school job type things. Boy, I’ve got lots of stories I could tell about those, I would have to ask first though. Let me know if that’s something you’d like to see!”

  


The day he posted the video, it only took Tony about ten minutes to try and casually bring up the subject.

They had been working mostly in comfortable silence, Tony filling out some paperwork while Peter sped through his chemistry homework, until Tony tries to tip-toe around it. “Liked your new video, kid.”

“Thanks, Mr. Stark.” Peter knows what’s coming next, and he pretends to be focusing more on his homework than the conversation at hand, “It was a lot of fun coming up with joke questions with Ned and MJ.”

“You three teaming up on something more often than not ends up in chaos.” Peter can tell Tony’s only pretending to be focused on his work as well, but doesn’t say anything about it.

“I wanna defend us and say you’re wrong,” even only half paying attention to his homework, he marks off a question as complete, “but you’re totally right.”

They lapse back into silence for a few minutes, before Tony breaks it again, “You know, I don’t mind if you talk about the internship on your channel. Obviously don’t talk about your side-hobby, but I know you don’t like hiding things from your viewers.”

Peter stalls for a moment, starting to feel a little self-conscious, “Are you sure? I’d be talking a lot about like, hanging out with you and stuff. I know _you_ don’t like lots about your personal life out in the open.”

Peter feels Tony’s eyes resting on his frame, but he’s too nervous about a possible negative response to meet them, “I trust you and your judgement, Pete. Just don’t make me look bad and it’ll be alright. Okay?”

It takes everything in Peter not to start crying about the fact that Tony said he _trusts him_ , “Okay.”

“Good,” Tony puts down the pen he was holding, and pushes his skinny-chair over to the couch Peter is sprawled on, “now, how’s calc treating you?”

  


Peter’s plan was a go.

  


It took Peter almost two months to get all of the footage he needed, but the video was finally done and ready to be posted. He had decided to title it, “my boss being disappointed in me for six minutes straight” with no capital letters for extra effect.

It was exactly what the title said, Tony sadly saying, “Peter, _no_ ” after he had said something self-deprecating. It was the most amazing video he had ever posted. He had to send it to Pepper first, to make sure it wouldn’t cause issues with their PR team, but once he was given the go-ahead, he didn’t even wait until Friday to post it. It was glorious.

  


**@starboypete** : you’re all gonna love my new video, in which I not so subtly reveal where I work! let me know if there’s anything else related to that that you'd like to see!! [you.tube/starboypete/upload](https://goo.gl/iGhaH3)

reply to **@starboypete** :

**@tonystark** : You’re the reason I have grey hairs. Awful, Awful child. See you this weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ivan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qthulhu/pseuds/qthulhu) is the reason this is so cheesy, they made our entire gc sad about iw and I needed to cheer myself up
> 
> *edited as of May 2nd*


	3. The rhinestone fiasco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not at all sorry for the rickroll in the last chapter, it was Perfect.

After posting the video of Tony, Peter’s subscriber count doubled. He expected something like this to happen, but not at this scale. For years, he was used to his small, core viewer-base. Now he has thousands of strangers, most likely only there to see if he’d post any more videos of _The Tony Stark_. Having that video, and part of his secret, out there did relieve some of the anxiety he had been harboring the past year or so.

Now that Peter didn’t feel like he was hiding so much from his viewers, he started showing more of himself in his videos. It’s not like he _wasn’t_ being himself before this, he just wasn’t being as open and genuine as he could be.

This sudden boom in his channel gave him the opportunity to do sort of a, _soft rebrand_ so to speak. He started talking about his personal life a little bit more, and started cracking the kind of jokes he does to his friends and at home. And, although it made him nervous, he decided to break from his niche of being a “storytime youtuber” and just try to make things that made him happy.

  


When Tony hears obnoxiously loud stomping quickly approaching, he’s confused. When he sees the culprit is Peter, and he’s holding a camera, he knows it’s going to end in something he’ll regret.

Tony swivels his chair to completely face the boy, and gives the camera his best “annoyed dad” face. “What absurd idea have you come up with now.”

Peter makes some sort of noise, trying to convey how offended he is, and turns the camera to face himself. “I told you he had no faith in me.” He whips the camera back to face Tony, a shot sure to make the viewer dizzy. “Why do you have no faith in me?”

Tony, devoid of emotion, sighs, “Out with it. Come on, I don’t have all day.”

“I need to go to the craft store.”

  


“Please explain to me why you couldn’t just go by yourself.” Peter’s camera is propped up in the place where you put babies in their shopping cart. Tony, under the sunglasses that in no way hides his identity as much as he’d like, glares at it.

Peter throws things into the cart he doesn’t need as they walk and scoffs. “You think I have money or the guts to do this alone? Aunt May would never go along with this, and neither would Happy. So here we are!”

“What made you think I would go along with it?” Tony has to push Peter’s hand away from grabbing something else off the shelf. Tony wants to make a comparison of Peter acting like a kid in a candy store, but in his limited experience with children he knows that a kid in a craft store is almost the same.

“You’re here aren’t you?” The boy’s eyes light up when he seems to spot something, and he runs into the isle ahead of them, “I found them!”

Needless to say, when Tony Stark comes to the counter, his cart filled with rhinestones and random objects, and a bouncing teenager on his heels, the cashier almost has a heart attack.

  


“I have been struck with inspiration from my _queen_ , Jenna Marbles.” Peter looks straight into the lens of the camera, ignoring the faces Tony is giving him from right behind it, “do you ever get depressed and watch youtube videos until 5am?”

“Excuse me, you what?” Tony’s using his dad voice, and Peter has to try really hard not to laugh.

“Shh, shh, old man. We’re not gonna talk about that.” Ignoring Tony’s protests, he continues, “So I was watching her videos, and rewatched the one of her bedazzling her face.”

An incredulous shout of, “did you not sleep last night?” is heard in the background, which Peter ignores.

“You can guess what I’m going to be doing.” Peter grins, and rubs his hands together like some kind of supervillain. “Mr. Stark, I’m going to need you to help me put them on.”

“What?” Tony sighs, “Peter, _no_. I thought I was just here to supervise incase you accidentally swallowed one!”

Peter gapes at him for a solid thirty seconds, and Tony laughs to himself at how dramatic Peter acts on camera. Never having the pleasure of filming with him before, this is _all_ new to Tony.

“ _Do you think I would?_ Never mind, don’t answer that. Just come over here and help me.” Peter crosses his arms, and stares at Tony.

Tony crosses his arms, mimicking the boy, “what if I say no?”

Peter deadpans, looks at the camera, and then back at Tony, “are you gonna?”

Tony sighs in response, and walks over to sit next to Peter, barely in frame. “You’re lucky I like you, kid.”

  


Just as Peter’s entire forehead and chin is covered in rhinestones, Friday’s voice comes through the ceiling. “Boss, Iron Man is needed. Peter is filming so I won’t give out the classified information, but it’s urgent.”

Tony, moving from his place next to Peter where he was helping him with this wild scheme, laughs maniacally. “You’re on your own squirt, have fun!” He ruffles the teen’s hair before jogging out of the room, still laughing.

Peter’s mouth drops open, as much as it can with the rhinestones restricting his expressions. He turns to the camera, mouth still agape, “he, he just? I’m disappointed but not surprised.”

There’s a cut, and Ned is sitting next to Peter. Through the rhinestones, which Ned is trying to carefully apply, you can see the clear look of embarrassment on his face.

“Hey,” Ned sticks one of the gems right on the tip of Peter’s nose, trying not to laugh, “why don’t you tell your lovely viewers what you just had to do?”

“This is _all_ Mr. Stark’s fault. I had to go into the lobby, _filled_ with the people I work with and see at least three times a week, with my face like,” he gestures to his face, now about half covered in the gems, “like this! I had to be down there for almost twenty minutes while Ned went through security checks!”

Ned pokes him in the shoulder with the applicator he was using to carefully place the rhinestones, “Stop pouting, you’ll mess them up!” Peter rolls his eyes, which Ned completely ignores in favor of the task at hand.

  


“Now what?” Ned studies his handiwork. Peter’s entire face, and part of his neck, is covered in rhinestones. Aside from the fact that this is hilarious, Ned has to admit that he looks a little creepy.

“I didn’t think,” Peter lifts a hand to his face, feeling the texture for what has to be the tenth time, “I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

Ned’s face lights up, with what has to be the most brilliant idea he’s ever had, “the Avengers are coming back from a mission soon right?”

It takes a moment to dawn on Peter, but once it does he starts bouncing in his seat. “Oh man Ned, I’m going to get in so much trouble but it’ll be so worth it!”

He points to the camera. “Sadly, you won’t get to see, the Avengers value their privacy. But I hope you enjoyed this! Thanks to Ned for being willing to help me out. And to Mr. Stark, if you’re watching, Fu-“

  


**@starboypete** : in search of a new mentor, mine’s out for blood

reply to **@starboypete** :

**@tonystark** : You’re lucky you’re my favorite.

reply to **@tonystark** :

**@starkfan** : what did he do?

reply to **@starkfan** :

**@starboypete** : I have done nothing wrong

reply to @ **starboypete** :

**@tonystark** : If you call “nothing” jumping down from the ceiling with your face covered in rhinestones, we’re gonna have to talk.

 **@starboypete** : I have done nothing wrong in my life, ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to write something really long and sappy about how shocked I was at all of the attention and nice comments this has gotten, but that's not what y'all are here for.
> 
> I tried to make this more reliant on dialogue than I usually do, hopefully it came out okay.
> 
> *edited as of May 2nd*


	4. They're soft boys, brent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this the longest chapter? it is in terms of how many pages it filled, but I'm not sure about word count. thanks for all the love on the last chapter, I wasn't very happy with how it turned out but y'all cheered me up

After an incident where somebody figured out his and May’s address, Peter switched to exclusively using the ‘close friends’ feature on his instagram story. Since not as many people knew about Ned’s instagram, he had less to worry about.

  


There’s a quick shot of Ned’s face, before the camera is turned around. The lighting is soft, mostly off except for a large TV at the front of the room. Ned’s feet are up on an ottoman, with Peter and Tony occupying an adjacent couch. Peter’s head is resting on Tony’s shoulder, the TV volume turned down so they can hear each other clearly. It’s evident the movie became background noise a long time ago.

“You know I wasn’t actually-“

“I know Peter.”

“Like, I was playing it up for the camera.”

“I know Peter.”

“I just don’t want you to think I was being mean, I was just joking around and-“

“I know Peter.”

“Oh, okay. Good.”

The camera flips back around to show Ned, a smug look on his face, and MJ holding a bowl of popcorn. She slides over the back of the couch to sit back next to Ned, shakes her head, and whispers “losers” at the camera before the video cuts off.

  


**@softpeter** : so peter stays with tony on the weekends it seems? unless I’m totally wrong??

reply to **@softpete** r:

**@tonyisadad** : nah I think you’re right , doesn't he film his vids during the week though? that gives us less of a chance of more good dad!tony Content :(

reply to **@tonyisadad** :

**@softpeter** : oh true :(

reply to **@tonyisadad** :

**@softpeter** : didn’t peter say he didn’t want his channel to be like , focused on tony tho? like he doesn’t want people to watch just for the chance of seeing tony he wants them to watch because they enjoy His Content

reply to **@softpeter** :

**@tonyisadad** : yeah that’s true , like I found him through his first video with tony but I stayed for him ya know?

reply to **@tonyisadad** :

**@softpeter** : I started watching him a year or so ago so like , idk it’s weird seeing all these people just watching him bc he works with an avenger :/

**\- show more replies -**

**@petershoodie** : any of y’all follow ned on insta? did anyone else see his story last night? pls?? peter and tony I’m , gonna cry

reply to **@petershoodie** :

**@softpeter** : oh?? hold on I haven’t checked insta in a while

reply to **@petershoodie** :

**@softpeter** : oh???? oh that’s so cute ?? they have movie nights?? biTCH

reply to **@softpeter** :

**@petershoodie** : I could talk about the composition of that video for Hours

reply to **@softpeter** :

**@petershoodie** : the lighting?? how comfortable they are with each other?? the fact that we have seen a similar couch layout on ned’s insta story the past few weekends??

reply to **@softpeter** :

**@petershoodie** : which means tony regularly has peter’s friends over to watch movies?? how happy and content they all look?? tony , in pj pants?? I’m dead, plan my funeral y’all

  


**@peterismyparker** : did y’all see the new photo on ned’s insta story??

[ **image description** : Peter is at a desk in a classroom, sleepily resting his chin in one of his hands, wearing a grey hoodie with MIT written in red on the front]

reply to **@peterismyparker** :

@ **tonyisadad** : it looks really worn in **@starboypete** we’ve never seen this sweater before ?? explain pls

reply to **@tonyisadad** :

**@starboypete** : get u a dad like mine

reply to **@starboypete** :

**@softpeter** : I thought ur dad was dead

reply to **@softpeter** :

**@starboypete** : did I say dad? I meant boss hahahaha autocorrect fails am I right ladies

reply to **@staboypete** :

**@tonystark** : That’s where that went, you little punk! Keep it if you’d like, I have a bunch. Did you call me “dad” on your twitter or am I mistaken? It’s not that I dislike the term, I’ll call you when you’re out of school.

reply to **@starboypete** :

**@tonystark** : Friday? Friday did you tweet that? Friday I meant for you to text him! Friday I swear if

 **@peterismyparker** : here I am again, y’all need to follow ned on insta for yourself and stop asking me to repost his stuff smh

[ **image description** : Peter is sitting at a desk in a classroom, staring at his phone with wide eyes and his jaw dropped. It’s simply captioned: shook]

 **@neddywars** : coming at you, live from [redacted] high, enjoy peter stans

Attached to Ned’s tweet is a video, with the same composition of his previous instagram stories, likely reposted from the same place. A teacher is standing over his desk, demanding to see his phone.

“You know the rules Peter,” the unnamed teacher holds out her hand, “if you’re caught with your phone out, I’ll read what’s on the screen and you’ll get it back from the office at the end of the day.”

“But,” Peter seems to be frantic, a deep blush making its way down his neck, “I was just texting my boss! You know I work for Tony Stark! We work on a lot of classified stuff and-“ The teacher just motions with her hand again, and Peter has no choice but to hand it over, sinking into the too-large sweatshirt he’s wearing.

The teacher moves her glasses down her nose slightly, and begins to read, “He’s texted, ‘Hey kid, I hope that tweet didn’t make you uncomfortable. We can talk about it over the phone or when you come over tomorrow, if you’d like. Take out sound good for dinner? I know we agreed to start eating a little healthier, but I’m not sure if I’ve got it in me for another cooking disaster this week. Let’s order from that good vegan place, if that’s cool with you. See you tomorrow, let me know how you did on that calc test.’ and he’s added some sort of, cowboy emoji at the end.”

When the teacher moves back to her desk, Peter sinks even further down his chair. Glancing at Ned, the video does a sharp zoom way too far into Peter’s face, before it cuts off.

  


“So today, I’ve got Mr. Stark as a guest again!” Peter gestures to the man sitting next to him.

Tony chuckles, “You need to stop calling me that, we’ve talked about this.”

“Sure, sure old man.” Ignoring Tony’s mock hurt gesture, he holds up a whiteboard that was sitting in his lap. “We’re gonna play a game officially called the newlywed’s game! Nobody here ever plays it like the way it’s meant to be played really, it’s just a better version of all those ‘get to know me’ tags! Ned is behind the camera, and he has prepared the questions!”

From behind the camera, Ned shuffles a few papers before he speaks, “So, I’m going to ask the question, and you’re going to write what you think the answer is. Say the question is, ‘What’s Peter’s favorite color?’ Peter would write down his favorite color, and Tony would write down what he thinks Peter’s favorite color is. Got it?”

They both nod, Tony fidgeting a bit in his chair, “I still think this is a silly idea.”

Peter moves so that one of his legs is curled up against his chest with his foot on the seat of the chair, the other still hanging down. “Oh hush, you’ll love it. Ask the first question Ned!”

“Alright,” Ned shuffles his papers again, “honestly, I got kind of lazy, so there’s only four questions and I’m going to ask them to each of you. Peter first, and then Tony. What’s Peter’s favorite meme?”

Tony starts to write his answer, and then pauses, “Meme as in a phrase, a photo, or a video?”

Ned gives some sort of shrug, signifying that he didn’t think too far into the question, so Peter supplies an answer of “all of the above” which makes Tony grumble with indignation.

“Got your answers?” Ned asks, and when both of them clip their marker back to the side of the board, he gestures for them to flip them over so the camera can see. They’ve both written, phrasing exactly the same, “cat no banana.”

Tony, wiping away his answer, scoffs, “Too easy. He never stops talking about it.”

“That’s because it’s so amazing!” Peter’s moved to have one leg tucked underneath himself, and is following along with Tony and wiping away his answer as well.

“Had to give you an easy one first. Now, same question for Tony.” Ned shuffles his papers again, and Peter tilts his head, giving Ned an inquisitive look. Did he print each short question on a separate sheet of paper? He’d have to ask later.

After a few moments, they both flip their whiteboards around. Peter’s written ‘It’s Wednesday my dudes’ and Tony’s written ‘Wednesday’ with a little drawing of the Spider-Man logo. They all accept this without question, and move on to the next one.

Ned, still shuffling way more papers than he needs, asks, “What’s Peter’s favorite TV show to marathon?”

“You’re going way too easy on us, Ted.” Tony remarks while writing his answer carefully.

Ned huffs out a small laugh, knowing Tony’s saying it in jest. Peter, on the other hand, elbows the man in the ribs, “It’s Ned.”

Tony makes a dismissive gesture with his hand, making it seem like he doesn’t care enough to know Ned’s name. The $800 Millennium Falcon Lego set Tony had bought for the teen’s birthday implies otherwise.

They both guessed right on that question. Peter’s being Parks and Recreation, and Tony’s being M.A.S.H. The latter making the younger boys tease him for a few moments before moving on.

Ned is sure the next question will make them need to think more. “Alright, what can’t Peter leave the house without?” He was right, because they both pause in thought for a while.

After a minute or two, they flip their boards, and Tony has his first wrong answer. Peter’s board says “watch” and Tony’s says “phone”

“That makes _no sense_.” Tony’s eyes are darting between Peter’s face and his board, “Why would you need a watch if you carry your phone everywhere?”

Peter fiddles with the item in question, “It’s the one you gave me.” He looks at the camera for a moment, and then back to Tony. “I’ll cut this out, don’t worry. It’s the, ya know, the Spider-Man one?”

Tony moves his free hand to run through his hair, “Everyone’s going to think I’ve gone soft!”

Ned, from behind the camera, pipes in, “Think? Trust me, they already know!”

Tony, sternly but with a soft smile on his face, points at the boy, “You can kiss your choice of movie night snack goodbye!” Ned whispers something to the tune of, ‘oh the horrors’ and Tony rolls his eyes, “Okay, mine next. We don’t want to drag this out forever.”

It doesn’t take long for them to formulate the answer to Tony’s side of the question, and when they’ve shown their boards, they both have something referencing Tony’s new nanotechnology powered suit.

“Why do you both know everything about each other,” Ned grumbles, “it isn’t as fun like that! Next one is, what is Peter’s worst habit.”

They both seem to flip their boards over in only a few seconds, Peter more reluctantly. Peter’s written “feet on the dash” and Tony’s written “no shoes in the car”.

“I’ll explain this one. You see, for some reason, Peter hates shoes.” Tony throws a glance to Peter, whose ears are turning red, “So in the car, he likes to take them off. He’ll do the thing he’s been doing this whole video, tucking his legs under himself, stretching them onto the dash, all kinds of things that _if I tried_ would land me in the hospital.” Peter’s sinking more into his chair with every sentence. “So he’ll have his shoes off right, but when we get to where we were going, he has to take the time to put them back on! He never thinks to put them back on when we’re a few minutes away from our destination, and he always has to retie the laces. It takes _forever_.”

“It’s not _that_ bad is it?” Peter asks in a small voice, he’s ended up with both legs tucked up to his chest and his feet on the chair.

Tony softens, thinking he actually hurt Peter’s feelings. Ned just shoots him a, “You’re doing amazing, sweetie.” And continues with the rest of the video.

  


**@tonystark** : [cowboy emoji]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to [ari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastelandbaby/pseuds/wastelandbaby) for helping me come up with the twitter usernames in this, and also being the best ever
> 
> also ao3 didn't let me put an actual cowboy emoji at the end, please accept my apologies
> 
> *edited as of May 2nd*


	5. FIELD TRIP FROM HELL?? [NOT CLICKBAIT]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanted to try my hand at the field trip trope, albeit a little differently. let me know what you think!

It’s somewhere around 6am, and Peter is swinging around his neighborhood, wasting time before he has to be at school, when he gets a call.

It’s Tony, and he won’t say a word. He’s just, laughing? Peter has to land on the roof of a building; the laughing was distracting him so much that he almost crashed into a wall. He keeps asking Tony what he’s laughing about, worry circling in his gut, but Tony won’t answer.

The laughing dies down eventually, a quick “see you Friday, kid,” can be heard, and Tony hangs up.

“Hey Karen?” Peter resumes his patrol, needing to move it in the direction of his school before he’s late, “What the fuck?”

  


He’s in homeroom when it happens.

“What an exciting opportunity for you all!” His teacher is bouncing on her heels, beaming with pride. His homeroom had won a competition, and had been the only group chosen for the “chance of a lifetime” as she couldn’t stop saying. Peter, on the other hand, just wanted to go home.

They were touring the tower. There was going to be some sort of conference there that his whole school was invited to attend (Peter had known about that part) but the fact that his homeroom was getting an up close and personal tour beforehand was news to him.

Ned was bouncing in his seat with excitement, which Peter couldn’t understand. He was at the tower almost as much as Peter was, shouldn’t it not be that thrilling anymore? After leaning across the isle and questioning his friend, Ned just shrugged and mentioned he had only ever seen the residential part of the tower, never the “cool stuff”.

Peter couldn’t help but feel a little offended, was his lab not cool? _He_ thought it was pretty cool, he had designed and organized it mostly on his own. It _was_ cool.

The timing of this was pretty urgent; they needed their permission slips signed by the morning, seeing as it was Wednesday, and the tour would be on Friday. Why the teachers waited until the last minute to tell them, Peter had no idea. He is certain that Tony had something to do with it, though.

“Hey, Penis!” Flash was leaning backwards, stage whispering so Peter could hear him, “Can’t wait to see where you get Tony Stark his coffee and drop off his dry cleaning!”

Everyone knew Flash hadn’t seen _even one_ of Peter’s videos. He knew they existed, and knew about him working for Tony, but just assumed he was some sort of lackey or personal assistant. People had tried to tell him that Peter explains some of the stuff he does in his videos, but Flash would just laugh and say something like, “Why would I spend my precious time giving that loser views?” and left it at that.

When Peter gets home and has to ask May to sign his permission slip, he’s met with the same kind of laughter Tony had subjected him to this morning. He has to wait a good five minutes, but she eventually calms down, signing the slip and wishing him good luck.

He was gonna need it.

  


“Hey Ned,” It was later in the evening, and Peter was swinging around his neighborhood again, under the guise of being on patrol. This was really just one of the only ways he found helped ease his anxiety. “if I accidentally miss on my swing and smack into a wall, is that enough of an excuse to miss this field trip?”

“Nah, you’d heal from it too fast.” Peter almost always had Ned on the phone during patrols, time together they both treasured, and he was very used to Peter’s ridiculous ideas by now.

Ned can only hear the sound of Peter shooting webs out every ten seconds or so, which means he’s swinging slowly and high up, something that made Ned nervous. “What if I-“

“No, Peter,” Ned sighs, pausing his game and putting down the controller he was using to completely focus on the conversation. “it doesn’t sound like there’s any crime-fighting going on there, why don’t you come over and we can work on the Millennium Falcon?” They were building the set Tony had gifted Ned for his birthday, and filming the process. Peter was _sure_ it would look really cool once they finished and sped up the footage.

Peter sighs softly, and Ned can hear the speed he’s swinging at pick up. “Okay, be there in ten, gotta swing back to grab my camera and stuff.”

  


Peter pinches the bridge of his nose, and takes a deep breath before speaking. “So today, my class went on a field trip to where I work. And Ned decided _he_ needed to vlog it. So, here’s that.”

**[CUT]**

“Hey what’s up y’all, it’s Ned. I’m vlogging.” Ned does some sort of, peace sign, and shakes it in front of his face a few times. “Ned Vlogs! How’s that sound Pete?” He turns the camera to include Peter in the shot. He has his face in his hands, mumbling something. “What’s that Pete? Can’t hear ‘ya.”

Ned moves the camera closer to Peter’s face, and the boy lifts his head, “I was asking myself why I decided to let you do this.”

Ned moves the camera so that both of them are in frame, a smug look on his face. “You love me too much to say no.” He says it so matter-of-factly, that Peter’s face quickly turns red, and he buries it in his hands again.

**[CUT]**

Ned’s showing the camera the interior of the lobby, coved floor to ceiling with glass paneling, while Happy can be heard explaining the security rules to the students.

“Your badges _must_ be visible at all times,” Happy’s voice is as monotonous as he can make it, and Ned zooms in as far as he can to the man’s face, “if I catch one of you breaking the rules, you’ll be answering to me. None of you want that.” The usually stoic man is now slightly grinning, “Isn’t that right Peter?” Ned swings the camera to show Peter next to him, wearing the infamous MIT hoodie, eyes wide and face bright red.

“I can assure you they’ll be on their best behavior!” His teacher addresses the class, Ned zooming in on Peter’s face. He’s caught in the act, and Peter’s hand flies to cover the lens, not wanting Ned to keep recording his embarrassment.

**[CUT]**

They’re heading through the security checks, and Peter doesn’t even think before tapping his watch on the sensor, despite a visitor’s badge around his neck.

“Peter Parker,” Friday’s voice is coming from god knows where, and Peter curses under his breath. “Ranking: Classified, Clearance: Classified, Title: Classified. Welcome Peter, you’re earlier than usual! Do not hesitate to ask if you need anything while you’re here.”

Peter quietly thanks the AI and hurries to move so that Ned can pass through the sensor. He also has a wristband he could tap, and since Peter used his, he seemed it fitting to do so as well.

“Ned Leeds,” Friday’s cheerful voice can be heard again, “Ranking: Classified, Clearance: Classified, Title: Other/Friends and Family. Welcome Ned! Always a pleasure to have you visit!”

**[CUT]**

“Woah Peter, look!” Ned, camera in hand, runs over to a display. They’re touring the small archive/museum the tower holds, and Happy’s protest of “No running!” is all but drowned out by the sound of Ned’s amazement. “It’s a replica of one of the first arc reactors!”

Peter, smiling at the look of wonder on Ned’s face, nudges the other boy with his elbow. “You know if you asked, Mr. Stark would show you the real deal.”

Ned almost drops the camera and, a little too loudly for Peter’s liking, exclaims, “Wait, he really would?”

**[CUT]**

“You all are in for a treat!” The tour guide had been droning on for a while, so Ned was trying to find out how many times he could poke Peter without him snacking away the camera, “Ms. Potts has a little bit of spare time, and is here to answer any questions about the business side of things you may have!”

Ned doesn’t record all of the questions, but he manages to catch footage of how, on her way out, she passes by the two of them. In her quest to embarrass them only _slightly_ , she takes a turn giving each of them a quick kiss on the top of their head. Walking away, she shouts over her shoulder, “I hope lasagna is all right for dinner!” before heading into an elevator. Peter manages to grab the camera before Ned can show how red his face is.

**[CUT]**

Somehow, Tony managed to persuade Steve to give the class a talk about safety in the workplace, something right out of the videos they were required to watch in gym class. At the end, he took a few questions and gave into the requests of posing for individual photos. Ned hadn’t formally met him yet, so it was Peter’s turn to embarrass his friend.

“Hey Peter!” The Captain gives Peter a wide grin, and the camera angle is awkward for a moment when he’s pulled into a hug. “And it’s Ned, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Ned is completely starstruck. He tries to say something, but when all that comes out is, “S-sir, Oh my-“ he somehow decides the correct thing to do is salute the man. This makes Peter start howling with laughter, unable to hold the camera up straight. When he’s able to keep it together, he brings the camera up to show Ned, who looks like he’s ready to meet his maker.

**[CUT]**

Tony’s leaning against a desk in a lab of some sort, and Ned’s regained use of the camera. He’s currently got it zoomed way too far into Tony’s face, a shot composition he seems to favor.

Tony claps his hands together, “Well, if that’s it for the questions, thanks for coming everyone!” He turns to the boy’s teacher. “I’ll be keeping Ned and Peter behind, you got the letters their guardians sent correct?” The teacher, although confused, nods. Tony walks over to them, putting a hand on Ned’s shoulder, “Got enough footage you think? I can always take you around to grab some B-roll if you’d like?”

**[CUT]**

The shot shows Peter back in his room at the tower again, his face completely lacking emotion. Ned walks into the shot, sitting next to Peter, “That was fun wasn’t it? I should vlog more often!” 

Peter turns to face him, a fond but exasperated look on his face, “Sure Ned.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no, it's not 2:30 in the morning, I don't know what you're talking about. hope you enjoyed my Good Boys
> 
> *edited as of May 2nd*


	6. fellas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's a little short, packed a bunch Soft Boys in there though, I'm pretty happy with it I think
> 
> (renamed the chapter I think this joke is funnier)

Ned.

Ned had been a constant in his life for years now. Through everything, their friendship persisted. It wasn’t like they fought or anything, they were just two teenage boys with no sense of self-preservation, always looking to help the other before themselves.

They stuck to each other through everything. Ned’s parents divorcing, Ben dying, and when Ned eventually found out, Peter’s alter ego and the problems associated.

  


“You’re the Spider-Man!” Ned, slightly upset from dropping and shattering their Lego death star, mostly in shock from the way his best friend just entered the room, “From youtube!”

“No, no I’m not.” Peter scrambles, in a similar state of shock. He knows he should have told Ned sooner, he just couldn’t come up with the right way to do so.

Ned narrows his eyes. “You were on the ceiling.” Peter knows he’s done for. Wheel him out boys, take him to his grave.

After a barrage of questions, Peter promising to answer them all once he’d given into his body’s need for some rest, Ned whispers a, “Think about how much cool stuff we could do on your channel!” before he’s ushered out the door. Peter only has a minute to breathe, when May is calling him to leave for dinner.

  


It’s late, Ned doesn’t know what time. He’s home alone, his mom out on one of her dates. There’s a knock on his apartment door, and he springs to answer it. His mom _oh so graciously_ left him money to order take out, and he eventually decided on the pizza place a block away. He decided to order close by, not wanting to subject the poor delivery guy to the pouring rain outside for too long.

It’s not the pizza guy though, it’s Peter. His eyes are puffy, cheeks streaked with red, and despite the rain jacket he’s wearing, he’s soaked to the bone. Without a word, Ned ushers him in. After he’s settled with a change of clothes and a warm mug of hot chocolate, he tries to speak.

Peter’s only able to get out a strangled, “Ben” before his body starts shaking with sobs. Ned pulls him close, and they stay like that for what feels like hours.

Ned’s mom returns home after another unsuccessful date, to find her son and his best friend asleep on the couch. They’ve left some sitcom playing and she texts May, letting her know where Peter is. She works to discard the empty pizza boxes and mugs, placing another blanket on the two before heading to her own room. The short reply she gets from May tells her all she needs to know, making a mental note to call Ned out of school in the morning. He’d need it.

  


“Peter, I’m still not sure about this.” Ned’s sitting on the floor in front of Peter’s bed, his friend adjusting the settings on his camera until they were perfect. “What if they don’t like me? They’re used to just you.”

“Oh hush, you,” Peter waves a hand as if to physically dismiss the notion, “they already like you. You’ve been on my channel plenty of times, nothing to worry about.”

“I know it’s just like,” Ned glances at the camera, not sure if Peter’s already started recording, “you know how I get. Sometimes it just feels like you’re the super cool one and I’m just your dorky friend you should have left behind in middle school. I just want your viewers to like me, you know?”

“Hey.” Peter, seeming satisfied with the shot, sits in his spot next to the other boy. He’s got a mixture of emotions crossing his face, ranging from fond to concerned. “That is not true and you know it. If they don’t like you, they don’t like me. Got it?” Ned nods, a smile tugging at his lips and a tear or two pricking his eyes.

Peter shuffles a bit in his seat, “Good.” He reaches over to start the recording, throwing another soft smile at Ned before starting, “So today, Ned and I are going to do the best friend tag!”

  


“Peter?” The boy in question glances up at his friend for a moment, not wanted to get too distracted from the task at hand but also wanting Ned to know he’s listening. “You know I _love_ that you’re Spider-Man, right?”

“How could I not?” Peter was currently working on the first floor, while Ned held the instructions and handed him each piece as he needed it. This was usually how they worked on smaller sets, trading off every section or so. “It’s just about all we talk about anymore, and you’re always happy when we do.”

Ned dumps a handful of circular yellow pieces into Peter’s open palms. These pieces would go on the underside of the floor, and Peter _hated_ these kind of pieces. They weren’t hard to place, but if you put them on wrong, they were a pain to get off. Ned holds the manual in front of Peter so he can get the placing right. They had built this set a few times before, so he didn’t always need to see the photos to know where pieces went, but he wanted to get all of these in place in one try.

“Yeah I just,” Ned sighs and adjusts his grip on the booklet, “never mind, it’s stupid.”

Peter’s moved onto a part where he has to assemble something small before attaching it to the larger piece he has, so he’s able to actually look at Ned while he speaks. “Ned, I may call you stupid _a lot_ , but if you’re worrying about something, it’s not stupid.”

Ned continues to hand him pieces, avoiding direct eye contact. “I know we had a similar conversation when you started to get popular on YouTube, about not forgetting me for cooler people right? But, this feels different. You’re like, an _actual superhero_ now, it’s hard not to feel like I might get left behind.”

Peter puts down what he’s building, knowing this kind of conversation needs his undivided attention, and holds eye contact with Ned while he speaks, “Ned, I could _never_ leave you behind. You’re my guy-in-the-chair! I need you! And not just for that, you’re also my best friend. Yeah I may be hanging out with cool people like the Avengers sometimes, but nobody I know will ever be cooler than you!”

“What about Tony Stark, am I cooler than him?” Ned’s got a smile on his face, and Peter knows he’s taken what he said to heart.

“I mean, _nobody_ ’s cooler than Mr. Stark, but you’re a super close second.” Before Peter can even finish his sentence, both boys are laughing and Ned’s shoved him so he’s almost falling over.

They keep laughing for a few minutes, before picking up where they left off on the Death Star.

  


“This is so cool!” Ned turns in a circle, waiting to take in as much as he can.

Peter shrugs, resting his arm on the reception desk. “This part isn’t even impressive, we’re just in the lobby.”

“Realistically,” Ned does another spin, “I know that. And of course _you_ don’t think it’s impressive, you’ve been coming here for weeks! This is my first time stepping foot in the place!”

The woman at the desk hands Peter the wristband they had been waiting on, and he thanks her while helping Ned fasten it on. “If you think this is cool, I’ll have to persuade Happy to take us to see the compound sometime.”

“ _Woah,_ ” Ned turns his wrist around a few times, admiring the new orange band, “is this like a MagicBand at Disney?”

Peter, not even noticing the similarities until now, chuckles, “Kind of? More secure though.” He tugs Ned in the direction of the security checkpoint; they told Mr. Stark they’d be in the lab by 4:30, a time which is rapidly approaching.

  


“Here’s this robot I’ve been working on,” Peter’s talking a mile a minute, eager to impress his friend, “not sure what it’s gonna do yet. Oh!” He uses his webs to pull over a notebook from across the room. “Here’s some ideas Mr. Stark and I have for my suit! Some of them are really cool, but most of them are just safety measures. There’s also this thing we’re working on for Sergeant Barnes, you know with his arm he-“

Tony, content to stand in the doorway and listen to the teens babble for a while, finally makes his presence known, “Some of that stuff is classified you know?”

Peter’s face pales. “Mr. Stark! I know, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told him that much stuff I was just so excited and-“

Tony cuts him off by placing an arm around his shoulders, “Just kidding kid, tell him all you’d like. It’s Ned right? Nice to finally meet you.”

  


They’re in seventh grade, at lunch, and Peter’s sure this is the longest they’ve both gone without speaking. It’s only been about ten minutes, but for Peter it feels like a lifetime. Trying to break the silence, Peter quickly says, “Do you wanna talk about it? I mean, your parents. It’s okay if you don’t want to! We can talk about other stuff!”

Ned shifts his eyes from the point on the wall he had been staring at the past few minutes to his hands, fidgeting on the table. “I mean, kind of? It’s _weird_.”

“Trust me Ned,” poking his best friend’s hands, that are now tightly clasped, “I can understand weird families.”

Ned lets out a chuckle, the first one Peter’s heard from him all day. “Yeah, I don’t know. It’s just really weird. Like, did they _have_ to break up? They couldn’t have just stayed together?”

Peter’s the one with fidgeting hands now. “Well if she’s,” he gulps, lowering his voice, “if she’s _gay_ I mean, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? Figure it out and, I don’t know, go be gay?”

Ned lightly shoves Peter’s shoulder with his own. “I’d rather not think about my mom going out and ‘being gay’”

“Okay, okay.” Peter laughs softly, and shoves him back. “You know what I meant. Wanna come over and work on the Lego City tonight? We still gotta finish the airport.”

“Sounds good,” Ned pokes at his school lunch with his fork, “nerd.”

Peter rolls his eyes, taking a bite of his packed lunch. “Nerd.”

  


**@starboypete** : look what ya boy just picked up

[ **image description** : a Lego set, sitting on a marble counter. It’s a set made to look like the HulkBuster armor, including a tiny figure of Tony Stark]

reply to **@starboypete** :

**@neddywars** : nerd. be there in 15

reply to **@neddywars** :

**@starboypete** : nerd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you are all too nice to me, I don't have the energy to reply to everyone comments, but know I read every single one. thanks for getting this to 3k hits, I never even expected it to get more than 3. let me know if there's any specific situations/tropes you'd like to see. I've got a small plot arc to work up to, but I'm always down for more ideas.
> 
> *edited as of May 2nd*


	7. So much, so fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to add more to this chapter for Months, but I think it has a good stopping point and y'all have waited long enough.

Dealing with May finding out Peter was Spider-Man wasn’t easy, to say the least. After chewing him out for a while, and then letting him explain himself, she demands to speak to Tony. Peter, still not allowed direct access to the man, figures calling Happy would have to do.

He answers after two rings, leaping into conversation about the Vulture before Peter can stop him, “I gotta say I’m impressed kid. You took him out without the help of the Stark-suit!”

“Excuse me,” May tears her eyes away from the phone, which was on speaker, to meet Peter’s, “you did what?”

They’re all silent for a moment, before Happy barks down the line, “have you been compromised?”

“No, no!” Peter leaps to defend himself. “That’s my Aunt! She, she found out.”

“Oh,” Happy stalls for a moment, pondering his next words, “this seems like a family matter then.” He promptly hangs up, leaving Peter to deal with another lecture.

  


Happy hasn’t heard from Peter in over two weeks. He didn’t want to admit he had taken a bit of a liking to the kid (he wouldn’t dare want anyone to think he’d gone soft) but this amount of radio silence started to worry him. It didn’t help that Tony managed to text him almost every day, expecting a mission report from the teen to be passed along. Happy managed to fend him off for a while, figuring there must not have been enough crime for an actual report, but he eventually surrenders and tells Tony.

To say Tony’s worried about Peter would be an understatement.

Tony knows the kid has been out doing his spider-thing, he has a personal shortcut to the suit’s data on his phone and computer, but Peter used to love checking in with Happy. Tony wouldn’t admit that some of his concern was selfish; he had missed listening to the voicemails Happy would pass along to him from Peter. He also knows the kid’s been posting his videos, so nothing _drastic_ had happened, he’s just distanced himself. Which would be fine if Tony wasn’t the insecure mess everyone close to him knew he was.

  


This is how Tony finds himself waiting to pick Peter up from school, on what was supposed to be just a normal Tuesday for the teen.

He’s in a decathlon meeting when his phone and “Spidey-Sense” go off at the same time. MJ just rolls her eyes and motions for him to silence the former. He does, not wanting to be on her bad side anymore than he already is, and within a few minutes the loudspeaker calls him to the office.

“Ooh!” Flash taunts, acting like he’s still in middle school and ignoring the fact that it’s his turn to answer. “Penis’ in trouble!”

MJ, again, rolls her eyes. “Shut up and answer the question Flash. Peter, you’re fine to go. Let me know if you’re leaving.”

He nods and jogs out of the gym, but before he can even try to figure out what he might have done wrong, Peter hears a familiar voice down the hall.

“What good is a school if they can’t find one of the kids they’re supposed to keep safe?” Whoever it is, they aren’t happy.

“We’ve called him down,” Peter hears the secretary try to reason with the man, “if he’s in the building he’ll be here shortly. Really, Mr. Stark, there’s no reason to get that upset.” Wait, why was Mr. Stark at his school looking for him?

“If nobody can find him, I swear, I’ll sue the entire department of education! I’m his emergency contact, I’m allowed to come and pick him up and wonder where he is.” Since when was he Peter’s emergency contact? He’d have to ask May about that. Also, he knew Mr. Stark was one for the dramatics, but threatening to sue the _entire_ department of education was a little much.

Peter starts to walk a little faster, not wanting to let Mr. Stark stew in his anger for longer than he has to. “Hey, Mr. Stark. What are you doing here?”

The man in question turns to face him, any sign of anger fading away, “Hey, Pete. You’re okay.”

Peter’s eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I be? Please don’t sue my school.” The secretary gives Mr. Stark an _I told you so_ look, and goes back to whatever she was doing before he barged in.

“I just-“ Mr. Stark scans the hallway, and then pulls them out of earshot of anyone who might be nearby. “You haven’t given Happy a report in a few weeks.” He’s looking Peter up and down, most likely trying to see if he’s hiding an injury. “If Happy comes to me with something he’s worried about, it’s usually something I should worry about too.”

Peter rolls his eyes, a habit he’s picked up off of MJ, trying to ignore the fact that the tips of his ears are getting hot. “Really I’m fine. I just, forgot I guess.”

“Don’t know how you forgot ‘the thing that helps you cap off the day, reminding you of your accomplishments and how you should be proud of them’ as you told Happy once. But, if that’s the story we’re going with, fine.” Tony removes the hand he had on Peter’s shoulder, his expression turning from concerned to cold.

Peter wraps his arms around his torso, suddenly self-conscious, and mumbles, “I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“Excuse me?” Tony puts a hand to his ear, “Old man here, losing his hearing. Speak up please.”

Something in Peter snaps, he doesn’t know if it’s pent up anxiety or pent up rage, screwing his eyes shut to stop the forming of tears. “I thought you’d be mad at me, all right! I crashed your plane, let the Vulture drop a _building_ on me, Aunt May found out about _everything_ -“

“Hey, Pete. Breathe.” Tony puts his hands back on the boy’s shoulders to silence him. “First off, we’re going to have a talk about how you said a building was dropped on you. But Peter,” he slightly tightens his grip, making the teen look him in the eyes, and lowers his voice, “none of that would make me mad at you. Sure, I’d be a little upset, but not _at you_. I need you to know that.”

“I know,” Peter’s gaze returns to his feet, “it’s dumb.”

“Your feelings aren’t dumb.” They’re both silent for what feels like a few minutes, but it’s probably only a few seconds. “I didn’t come here _just_ to chew you out, though. You’re mostly free Fridays, right?”

Peter blanks for a second, confused, “Yeah, how do you know I’m free on Fridays?”

“Aunt Hottie and I share a Google Calendar for you.” Mr. Stark’s got a smug look on his face, knowing this information is _completely_ new to Peter.

“Okay, one: _please_ stop calling my aunt hot,” Peter’s gesturing wildly with his hands as he speaks, “and two: when did you start talking to May?”

“Happy told me how he threw you to the wolves and I thought it was the least I could do.” He claps his hands together. “So, Fridays? I figure Happy can pick you up from school and you’ll head to the tower or compound, wherever I am that week?”

If Peter was being honest, he didn’t sleep much last night and wasn’t _entirely_ sure this wasn’t a dream. “Wait, you want me to come and see you? Every week? To do what?”

“I’m hurt, you sound offended I’d want to spend time with you.” Mr. Stark makes a face and puts a hand to his chest. “I figure going over improvements we can make to your suit wouldn’t hurt, maybe some combat training, that kind of thing. You in?”

Peter hesitates for a moment, knowing he wants to accept immediately but still not convinced Mr. Stark is completely serious. “I, of course. Yeah, are you sure?”

“Wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t sure, kiddo.” He claps his hands together again, which seems to be something he does to cap off conversations, “You leaving soon? I’d be happy to give you a lift home.”

“I gotta,” Peter points a thumb in the direction of the gym, ”MJ’s gonna kill me if I miss another practice. Plus Ned and I need to work on my video for the week.”

Tony squeezes his hands on Peter’s shoulders in a reassuring gesture, then moves them to be folded across his chest. “Yeah, okay cool. Just, don’t go silent on us again Pete, okay?”

Peter smiles and agrees, leaving Tony to stand in the hallway and wonder how he managed to care so much so fast.

  


Tony had invited Peter upstate to work on the suit, which was a common enough occurrence on its own, but knew if he didn’t make his offer now he might never do it.

Peter, talking with a flashlight hanging from his teeth, is adjusting the sensitivity of his web shooters, trying to get them just how he liked them, “Ned and I were thinking of branching out into livestreams once in a while, but I just don’t think I have the time. Maybe during the summer? I’m not sure.” He leans in closer to his project, and Tony makes a mental note to check if he’s due for an eye exam. “Like I have Spider-Man, which I love, I have my videos, which I love, I have school, which I don’t love _as much_ but I still love, and I have this, which I love. It’s a lot.”

Tony pretends to be focusing more on the plans he’s sketching out than his carefully selected words, “You love working on stuff here?”

“Um-“ Peter almost drops the screwdriver he’s holding, and takes the flashlight away from his teeth. “Yes! I mean, of course I do.”

“What would you say,” Tony takes a quick glance at the teen, who’s blushing and doing everything he can to avoid Tony’s gaze, “If I wanted to make it an official thing? Make you an employee on file, a project stipend, more set times you’d come in, the works.”

“I’d-“ Peter’s completely abandoned what he was working on, visibly buzzing with excitement, “are you serious? Mr. Stark that’s- I’d love to!”

The beautiful, beaming smile on Peter’s face makes Tony wonder why he never wanted kids before this one crashed into his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhh I'm so sorry this took so long!! Seasonal depression Kicked My Ass and I started a new job (waking up at 4am is Not Fun) that also kicked my ass. Truthfully, I've had this chapter written since I posted the last one (except for the last section, finished that today). I wanted to make it twice as long and touch on more than one subject, but I couldn't get it to work. Hopefully I can update this thing more frequently from now on.
> 
> yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/shittyspacedads)
> 
> *edited as of May 2nd*


	8. What do you get someone who has everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one feels short, but I've been working on it for a while. Sorry in advance.
> 
> ENDGAME SPOILERS WILL BE DELETED

**@starboypete** : hey I’m doing a scientific experiment to see how much caffeine my body can handle before I combust so #askpeter

 **@softpeter** : are you sure this is a good idea? @starboypete #askpeter

reply to **@softpeter** :

**@starboypete** : I know for a fact that it isn’t

 **@tonyisadad** : does a certain superhero know about this? @starboypete #askpeter

reply to **@tonyisadad** :

**@starboypete** : no and nobody tell him pls he’ll literally ground me

reply to **@starboypete** :

**@petershoodie** : and you say tony isn’t your dad smh

reply to **@petershoodie** :

**@stayboypete** : me, to Mr. Stark after he hangs my report card on his fridge: YOU’RE NOT MY DAD

 **@peterismyparker** : sorry if this is too personal, but do people treat you differently bc your parents are dead? **@starboypete** #askpeter

reply to **@peterismyparker** :

**@starboypete** : I mean, yeah? mostly when it first happened, but now that’s been a while I don’t get much of that outside of when people first find out

 **@starkstxt** : **@starboypete** who’s your fav avenger? #askpeter

reply to **@starkstxt** :

**@starboypete** : tony stark. (hottest avenger is thor hands down tho)

 **@tonydotstark** : **@starboypete** #askpeter best thing about ned?

reply to **@tonydotstark** :

**@starboypete** : I could go on for Hours but nobody wants that so: he’s the most thoughtful and kind person I know

 **@starboypete** : I’m getting a little deliriouss and mr dad just texted me saying he knows what I’m up to so I gtg this was fun tho bye

reply to **@starboypete** :

**@tonystark** : brat

reply to **@tonystark** :

**@starboypete** : :P

 

  


“Care to explain why you’ve had six redbulls in the past hour?” Tony’s voice is way too loud for the state Peter is in right now.

“Ow.” Peter rolls over in bed, putting the phone on speaker and places it on his chest. “I told twitter, it was for _science_!”

“Yep, sure,” Peter can hear the wind whistling over the line, figuring Tony’s either in the suit or a car, unsure of which option he’d prefer, “you can explain that to Pepper when I bring you to face her.”

Peter groans and rolls onto his stomach, making his phone fall to the floor in the process. “I forgot I was coming over today.”

“Well,” Tony’s voice sounds so far away, but Peter can’t be bothered to pick up his phone. “You’d better be ready ‘cause Happy’ll be pulling up in about five minutes.”

Peter curses a little too loudly and jumps to try to get ready, while Mr. Stark laughs at him and promptly hangs up the call.

 

About ten minutes later, he’s in the back of a car with Tony and a fresh bagel from his favorite local shop, whining about the headache he’s developed.

“I thought caffeine was supposed to help with headaches not give you them!” Peter shoves the bagel in his mouth halfway through his sentence, and if Tony didn’t know him better he’d have no idea what the kid was saying.

“That’s what you get for having almost 700 milligrams of caffeine at four in the afternoon.” Although Tony’s trying to scold Peter, he rubs the kid’s head when he says this, “No lab work for you until it’s all out of your system.”

“Buuuuuttt Da-“ Peter starts to whine through a mouthful of bagel, and starts choking with the realization of what he almost called Tony. (Who he definitely doesn’t see as a father figure. Nope, no way.)

“We’re here,” Tony pats Peter on the back, the latter thanking every god he can think of for the fact that Tony doesn’t tease him for his slip up. “Time to explain to Pepper why you won’t be joining in on movie night tonight.”

“What, why?” Peter’s head is somehow pounding and buzzing at the same time, and works on slowly getting out of the car instead of running like he usually does.

“Oh, did I not mention?” Tony only slightly slams the car door behind them, not enough to make Peter’s headache worse, but enough to make him regret the sixth redbull, “You’re grounded.”

  


“Ned, what do you get someone who has everything they could ever want?”

“Peter, it’s three in the morning. Plus I thought you were grounded?” Nothing about getting a video chat request from Peter at this time shocks Ned, except for the fact that he’s hanging from the ceiling.

Peter groans, letting go of the ceiling and falling onto his bed. “My therapist said Tony and May can’t limit my access to support if I’m grounded. I just can’t work in the lab and my patrols are more monitored. Also, how’d you know I was grounded?”

“Wild guess,” Ned leans back in his chair, “I assume this is about Mr. Stark’s birthday?” Peter just groans in response. “You know he’ll love anything you get him, right? You gave him a little prototype spider-drone you made that stopped working and he keeps it on his keys. He’s gone full Proud Dad! Next thing we know he’ll have ‘my kid is an honor student’ bumper stickers on every car he owns.”

Peter can feel his cheeks getting hot under the pillow he has his face pressed into, “Ned it’s not like that. I don’t think Mr. Stark thinks of me like that.”

“Peter I’m going to strangle you,” Ned runs a hand down his face, “you’re literally sitting in your own bedroom in _his house_ , which is next to your personal lab, _in his house_!”

“ _I know that,_ it’s just-“ Peter sighs and sits up, hugging a pillow in his lap. “I think it’s just more, _convenient_ to have me here? You know, in case there’s a mission or something. I just don’t really think Mr. Stark thinks of me as anything more than someone to quietly mentor, I guess.”

“Peter, you know that’s not-“ Ned’s interrupted by Friday’s voice.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Ned. Peter, Mr. Stark noticed you’re still awake and was wondering if you needed anything or wanted to come down to his lab.” Ned rolls his eyes at the irony of the situation and relaxes back into his chair.

“Oh, uh,” Peter stalls for a moment, “tell him I’m alright, I was just on a call with Ned. I’m getting tired anyway, I’ll go to bed soon.”

“Told you.”

“Shut up, nerd.”

  


Peter runs into the room, slamming his palms on the counter, “Aunt May!”

May puts her bookmark in the book she was reading, planting her palms on the counter to mirror his stance. “Peter!” They stare at each other for a few moments, before falling into laughter.

“Alright, alright,” Peter sits down at the island, “that was a bit dramatic. But, I finished it!”

“Peter, that’s awesome!” She ruffles his hair, much to his displeasure. “You’ve worked so hard on this, I’m really proud of you.”

“Thanks May,” he runs a hand through his hair to tame it, “I was really nervous I wouldn’t get it finished in time.”

“Well you did, and that’s what matters.” She leans back onto the counter behind her. “So, when do I get to see it?”

Peter looks down at his lap. “I kind of wanted Tony to be the first one to see it. I figured I’d show him after the party when most people have left and then post it in the morning? I can show you before I post it though!”

“Sounds like a great plan Peter.” May smiles at him warmly for a moment, before pulling a take-out menu off the fridge,.“So, Chinese?”

  


“So,” it’s the Friday before Tony’s birthday and they’re in the lab, as per usual, “a little birdie told me you’re doing something on your channel for my birthday?”

Peter whips around to face the man; he had been testing a new web fluid and was hanging upside down from the ceiling. “Who told you! Everyone promised!”

Tony covers his mouth with his hand to hide just how hard he’s laughing, and leans back in his chair. “You do know I scan your dialogue with Karen, right? I don’t read all of it but if my name gets picked up, I can’t help but be curious.”

Peter gets such an offended look on his face that it sends Tony into another fit of laughter, and he webs his mask up to meet him. “Karen!” He puts it on, even though Karen can hear _and_ respond to him from that short of a distance, “I trusted you!”

“Hello Peter!” Tony’s glad he programmed Karen to sound motherly, because it makes this situation _even_ funnier to him.

“Karen,” Peter’s gesturing wildly, still hanging upside down, “focus! You let Mr. Stark find out about my surprise!”

“I wouldn’t have been the one to do so, Peter.” Tony _swears_ the AI sounds smug. “Friday would have been the one to go through our audio logs and highlight Mr. Stark’s name.”

Peter whips off his mask so fast that watching it makes Tony dizzy, “Friday!”

“Yes, Peter?” While Tony takes a minute to wonder just _when_ his AI’s started to have so much character around Peter, the web fluid they had been testing decides it’s the _perfect_ time to give out, sending Peter crashing to the floor.

“Hey, Dum-E,” Tony’s still trying to hide how much he’s laughing, “I think Pete needs some help.”

Peter pushes himself up, running a hand through his hair to try and get it out of his face, “I love you Dum-E, but if you come near me I’ll convince Mr. Stark to let me turn you into a toaster or something.”

  


“May knows when we’re starting, right?” Peter had been frowning at his phone, Pepper’s hand on his shoulder startling him.

“Yeah, she texted me when she left.” He opens the messages app on his phone to show Pepper, “She should be here really soon.” Pepper puts a soft hand on his cheek and smiles at him before walking away, presumably to make sure everything’s in order.

“Hey, kid! It’s _my_ birthday, I’m the only one allowed to be moody!” Tony bounds into the seat next to Peter and slings an arm around his shoulders, “What’s eating ya?”

“It’s nothing,” Peter glances around the room, slightly embarrassed that all of these important people are seeing Tony and him like this. “May’s just running a little late and we had a small argument this morning. She’ll come, right?”

“Of course she’s gonna come Pete! I’d have a few choice words for her if she didn’t.” They laugh for a moment, and then fall into a comfortable silence.

After a few minutes of Peter anxiously checking his phone, Friday speaks throughout the room. “Boss, there’s an urgent matter you need to attend to in the med bay. I’ve sent the details to your phone.”

Tony sighs and goes to pull out his phone. “Couldn’t give me a break on my birthday, could you Fri?”

Peter, on the other hand, starts bouncing in his seat. “Mr. Stark, what’s urgent in the med bay? Is there anything I can help with?” He keeps babbling on until he notices his mentor’s face pale.

“Mr. Stark, what’s-“ Peter manages a glance at Tony’s phone, and the name he sees in the alert stops him in his tracks.

Tony calling over Pepper and Happy is the only reason Peter hasn’t bolted out the window to get to the med bay quicker. Before Peter can even think, Pepper’s got his face cupped in her palms and is trying to talk him down, while Happy has a firm grip on his shoulder to hold him in his chair.

“Peter,” he can barely hear Tony’s voice through the wind rushing in his ears, “Peter, I’m going to go check, and then Pep will bring you down, okay?”

“Tony I need to,” Peter hiccups, only just realizing that he had started crying, “I have to-“

Pepper dries his face with the pad of her thumb. “You will honey. We just need to make sure first, okay?”

He nods, and the next few minutes are a blur. All he knows is that, at some point, Ned had found him and was whispering with Pepper while he held his hand.

Then, he’s taken to the med bay.

  


**@starboypete** : my aunt’s dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this with no beta right after seeing endgame and I'm a bit of a wreck. Sorry it takes me so long to post, I haven't felt very confident in my writing lately.
> 
> ENDGAME SPOILERS WILL BE DELETED
> 
>  
> 
> (let me know what you think of the slight change in formatting for tweets)
> 
> *edited as of May 2nd*


	9. you're the only ten I see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **If you read the previous chapters before May 2nd, I kindly ask that you reread them as they've been heavily edited**
> 
> Since it might be hard to tell, this chapter takes place before the Big Thing that happened at the end of the previous chapter, sorry y'all.
> 
> Also happy 11th birthday to my favourite movie ever: Iron Man (2008)
> 
> ENDGAME SPOILERS WILL BE DELETED

“Boss?” Friday’s voice startles the pair and Peter blearily looks at the time. The two had been hyper-focused on reviewing the plans for some new project SI was considering funding, and it had been hours since they had taken a break. “You have a call from an unknown number, which I would normally ignore-“

Tony puts down the pen he was holding and rubs at his eyes, “Then why didn’t you?”

“Rose Hill Protocol, Sir.”

Before Peter even has the chance to ask what _the hell_ the Rose Hill Protocol was, Tony just about jumps out of his seat, “Patch him through.”

Peter figures Friday will patch the call through Tony’s phone. Though, to his surprise, it comes through the speakers in the room.

There’s a bit of crackling and the sound of wind before Peter hears someone speak up, “Hey, old man.”

Tony visibly relaxes when he hears the person’s voice, and sits back down in his chair, “Keener, you okay?”

“I mean,” the person on the line sniffs, and Peter realizes that Keener must be _a kid_ , “it’s stupid, I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m kind of stranded and my phone died. Your number is the only one I could remember.”

“That’s a new StarkPhone, kid.” Tony runs a hand across his face, “The battery’s supposed to last _days._ Have you not been able to plug it in for that long? What do you need me to do, call your mom to come get you from the mall or something?”

Keener sighs and pauses for a moment before continuing, “It’s a _little_ more complicated than that, Stark.”

“ _Harley_ ,” Tony’s using his ‘dad voice’ and Peter figures that Harley is the kid’s first name, “where are you?”

“Florida.”

  


The sight of Tony Stark, with three teenagers in tow, walking off of his private jet to meet Harley would be _hilarious_ to him, if not for the grimace on Tony’s face.

“Driver find you okay?” Tony’s got his hands clasped behind his back, and one of the kids behind him gives Harley a small wave.

Harley nods and uncomfortable shifts his footing, “Yeah, there’s a Burger King inside?” Tony nods curtly and starts ahead of them, the four teens scrambling to keep up. Harley ends up falling in step with the one who waved at him, who introduces himself as Peter. “He’s mentioned you. Internship turned pseudo-son, right? He sent me the link to your YouTube too, your videos are cool.”

Peter sputters as they walk through some sort of private entrance, “I wouldn’t use the term ‘pseudo-son’ but yeah, that’s me. He hasn’t mentioned _you_ though.”

Harley shrugs, “Doesn’t surprise me. Pepper didn’t even know we kept in contact until a couple of years ago.”

“How much contact?” Peter feels nosy, but he can’t help but be curious.

Harley shrugs again, a habit that shows up when he’s nervous, “Enough to know he’d come if I needed him.”

  


“So.” They’re sitting in a booth, Tony handed Peter and his friends his card to order, leaving Harley alone with the man. “I called your mom.”

Harley’s gaze moves to his hands, folding and unfolding them on the table, “What’d she say?”

Tony sighs and takes off his sunglasses, “That you two had an argument about her not wanting you to drive to Florida alone. When you told me you’d won the contest for that conference you said you had it all figured out, what happened kid?”

Peter and his friends decide that this is the _perfect_ time to come back to the table with food. He’s filming the other two while they walk over, but notices the tense atmosphere and moves to put his camera away.

Harley motions for Peter to film him, “Hold up, I have something to say.” Peter reluctantly pans the camera to Harley’s face and backs up to get a better angle, “Hey Peter’s viewers, I’m Harley. Tony Stark broke into my garage when I was twelve and has been paying me off ever since.”

The teens burst out laughing, while Tony spits out something along the lines of “You little shit, I’m not paying you off!” and grabs at Peter’s camera.

“Hey, hey, no!” Peter backs up even farther, out of Tony’s reach. “I wanna hear this!”

Tony sighs and runs a hand down his face, glaring at the teens in front of him through his fingers. “I didn’t break into his garage _per say,_ and I don't think giving tech to a promising young mind as a thanks is ‘paying him off’”

“You paid for my sister’s summer camp,” Harley grabs one of the drinks off a tray one of Peter’s friends put down and takes a sip, “you’re _definitely_ paying me off.”

  


“So,” they’re all settled down with their food and Harley’s talking through a mouthful of french fries, “you’re Ned, you’re Peter, and you’re MJ.” he pauses for a moment, Tony still glaring at him, “And Tony’s basically adopted all three of you?”

Tony basically chokes on his drink at the assumption and Peter smacks him on the back a few times, trying to help but really not doing much of anything. MJ, on the other hand, ignores the outburst, “He’s _really_ only adopted Peter, we’re just stowaways.”

Ned nods in agreement, “It’s our vacation week and our parents trusted Mr. Stark to keep an eye on us while we filmed some videos for Peter’s channel at the compound.” He takes Peter’s distraction to his advantage by stealing ketchup off the other’s tray for his fries, “So when you called, he had to take all three of us with him.”

“Does he not trust you all alone in a high security facility that’s pretty much in the middle of nowhere?” Harley thinks what Ned’s done is a great idea, so he dunks his fries into Peter’s ketchup as well.

The three teens shake their heads, eerily in unison, and Tony seems to have recovered from his episode, “I know you just met them Keener, but I don’t know a _single_ person that trusts these three alone if they’re filming or have access to a lab.”

Harley rubs his hands together, grinning devilishly at Tony, “Sounds like the four of us are going to get along great then.”

“Oh no you don’t,” Tony points a french fry at Harley’s face, who jumps at the opportunity to bite it. This makes Peter snort and try to hold in the rest of his laughter, but it barely phases Tony, “no making friends or coming to the compound until I’ve heard the _whole_ story and have permission from your mother.”

Harley takes another dramatic sip of his soda and sighs. “It’s pretty simple, old man. Mom _didn’t_ want me to drive myself to the conference, and I _did_ want to drive myself to the conference. I left in the middle of the night because I was mad, and didn’t bring enough cash with me. Gas and parking is _a lot_ more expensive than Disney wants you to think. Once I realized how stupid of an idea that was, the conference was over and I was broken down on the side of the interstate at two in the morning.”

Harley takes _another_ dramatic sip of his soda, it’s almost empty at this point so it’s more annoying to Tony than it was in the first place, and the table is silent for a while.

“What conference was it?” Peter’s got his head in his chin with his elbows resting on the tabletop, _clearly_ invested in Harley’s story.

“My mom kept complaining about me not doing the dishes so I built a robot that could do it. Stark suggested I submit it to this contest thing, and it won.” Harley steals a fry off of Tony’s tray, “Something like ‘Our Future Engineers’ I think? It was pretty boring to be honest.”

Peter whips around to face Tony, Harley’s starting to worry the kid’s going to get whiplash. “Mr. Stark! Why haven’t you suggested _I_ submit to contests?”

“Kiddo,” Tony smacks Harley’s hand away from stealing more of his fries, “you’re literally employed by me. Your stuff’s past the amateur level.”

Before Peter can respond, Ned’s hitting MJ’s arm and shoving his phone into Peter’s face. The other two take a moment to read what’s on the phone, before the three of them lock eyes and start grinning wildly. “Mr. Stark!”

“I’m gonna stop you there Pete,” Ned pulls out the camera to start filming the conversation, “if this is _anything_ like the rhinestones, I don’t wanna hear it.”

Ned hands the camera to MJ, who seems to be the cameraman of the operation, to take his phone back and show Harley. Now _this_ was more interesting than an engineering convention.

“ _But Mr. Stark,_ ” despite the fact that Peter’s bouncing in his seat, he’s looking at Tony with the most intense case of puppy dog eyes Harley’s seen on anyone outside of his sister, “you’re the one who said I should branch out onto new platforms! It would only be a quick pit-stop!”

“I’ll help.” Harley pipes in and Tony shoots him daggers, “I’m still on break and don’t have anything better to do.”

Peter starts gesturing wildly between Harley and Tony. “See! You wouldn’t even have to do anything! Just take us there on our way out, and stick Harley on a plane back home at the end of the week. Easy!”

“Where _exactly_ am I taking the Brady Bunch this time?” Tony crosses his arms across his chest and leans into the back of the booth seat.

“ _Legoland_.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so!
> 
> 1\. I meant for this chapter to be twice as long, but I'm tired and that seemed like a good place to leave it off at.
> 
> 2\. Yes I rewrote the previous chapters. Not completely, but enough that you should at least skim them. I've mostly just fixed a bunch of errors and added more Content (not including this chapter, the work went from around 11k words to like 14k words)
> 
> 3\. PLEASE go show some love to [ro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarcoats) and [ivan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qthulhu/pseuds/qthulhu) for putting up with being betas for my rewrite, they both went through like 40 pages filled with all my typos and excessive use of commas, pls go check out their works and give them the Appreciation they deserve (also wanna shoutout [ari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastelandbaby/pseuds/wastelandbaby) who's always posting good stuff and helped me with ideas for the next chapter)
> 
> 4\. Seasonal depression is getting better!! Also work is picking up so I'm gonna try to commit to writing during my train rides in/out instead of goofing off. I'm gonna try not to go radio silent on y'all again!
> 
> 5\. [luke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jihvunkim) and I, aka the dumbass duo, were sharing songs back and forth bc we were Sad about endgame so I started a playlist of songs that remind me of this fic, [here it is](https://open.spotify.com/user/1242746169/playlist/77jlH85rOWhIwUc4AIy2Uc?si=SntFkGczQFepiDkH0z17sA) if you're interested (also luke has a rlly good [ironfam playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/gaylukes/playlist/1CNdnvkG19qjIXaxhpxC4M?si=ApqOPoTESj6IfTQPQvjIKg) that's a wip but u should listen to it, I put it on while writing this)
> 
> Okay I'm done now thank u for all of the sweet comments hopefully this makes up for the Sadness of the last chapter lol


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